I just want to capture a moment. And I'm also pushing myself to get used to loving the sound of my own voice. Because I have a voice and it's a good thing to use it. So today, I made a first step towards some mental health treatment. And I had a video intake appointment. And, you know, there was this moment after I gave my whole spiel about why why I'm here now.
Um, it kind of ended with. I'm just terrified that no matter what this is, if it's ADHD or if it's something else that I won't get help, like there's no way out of this.
I just realized that I hold so much in and I'm really unhappy. So I guess the depression is jumping out right now. But I'm determined to see brighter days. You can't think of one time, one period in this lifetime that joy was my normal state of being. Like being happy, joyful, content. Everything has felt like just hold on. Just hold on just get through this. This one part. Like, do what you can to get through today this week, this month this year. A lot of holding on for something without hope for better without the expectation of feeling good ever. So guess. It's an important thing to mark today. I actually have an appointment set up today for individual therapy to start that. So here's to hope. Here's to brighter days, here’s to believing that joy is an option. Not just for a moment, but in a sustainable way. I'm not really sure why I feel the need to share this with people but i think it's it's similar to the way I feel about technical topics like going back to that but like when you're at the beginning of the journey, it's such a. It's so easy to forget when you move into something else. When you're moving forward to so easy to forget where you started.
And there’s a lot of value in a starting point. Let's see how. See how other people have advocated it. So, I'm recording this with hope that my piece of the story might help someone else. Even if that is just to feel like
you're not alone. I know that helps me. It's comforting in a way to know that what I’m going through. People have survived it. And I hope to survive it. I'm surviving it. So yeah. Until next time, I have to say thank you for, for being on this journey with me. Thank you for (uh oh, losing my ear piece.) Thank you for just the regular support that you give me like when I share that I'm going through things or I need help or I need support, like, there are so many people now that just consistently. Give me that. I appreciate you so much.
Transcribed by https://otter.ai